Avoidance & Procrastination

For some people, it's spiders. Or snakes. Or homework. Or forms. Or the doctor. Or the dentist. You get where I'm going, right? That Thing!  It starts as a natural reaction to perceived threat or danger accompanied by aversion.

Sometimes we associate the task with unpleasantness. Sometimes we're anxious about our ability to do it well. Sometimes we carry negative associations connected to macro or micro trauma. 

Ironically, the more we avoid something, the more energy we expend. It's like those Star Trek episodes where the ship's power trying to escape Dark Matter is used against it, and life support and other functions begin to fail. And for us that shows up as anxiety, dissociation, depression, lack of oomph.

Your attention is focused on avoiding The Thing you have to do. The more you avoid it, the bigger it gets, sometimes literally. Like the bill you 'forgot' to pay increased with the interest charged. Or the $350 cavity you're avoiding filling has turned into a $1600 crown. (Can you tell I have a fear of dentists?)

You've heard the "FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real?" 

How about Face Endeavors Audaciously Rightaway! 

Courage isn't fearlessness. It's doing things that are challenging and scary anyway. You can practice doing daunting tasks by scaffolding less scary ones first.

There a part of our brain called the Mid-Cingulate Cortex that is a key hub for leaning into undesired effort. The more we do those little things we hate, the bigger and stronger it gets, just like working a muscle group that helps support your physical capacity. 

Scientists believe that this area of the brain is not just the seat of will-power, but actually the seat of our Will to Live. The best way to overcome avoidance and grow the MCC is to practice doing The Thing over and over again. It gets easier. I can attest to that because I used to be an aovider procrastinator too.