The Power & Perils of Perfectionism

The desire to excel and strive towards excellence is a powerful driver of accomplishment. If you find yourself compelled to perfect everything until it’s just right, you may experience both traction and satisfaction from your perfectionism. However, it’s important to recognize that our strengths can sometimes evolve into significant obstacles. For instance, if you never feel satisfied with any achievement; if your perfectionism is alienating you from connecting with others; if it hinders you from completing projects, leaving you feeling stuck; or if it leads to unhealthy behaviors like over-exercising, restricted eating, lack of sleep, or constant comparisons with others—these are signs it’s time to reflect. Engaging in coping with perfectionism can be essential, especially when you find yourself unwilling to make mistakes or 'fail.' In such cases, exploring somatic therapy or trauma informed psychotherapy may provide valuable insights into what your drive for perfection is truly accomplishing.

Are you avoiding or escaping from uncomfortable feelings or situations? Perhaps anxiety is driving you in an attempt to protect you from criticism or other dangers rooted in childhood trauma. This could also manifest as coping with perfectionism, where you overcompensate for areas in your life that feel unfulfilling or less than ideal. You might express control through obsessive-compulsive behavior, or seek ways to self-soothe and manage overwhelming feelings. Exploring these patterns can be beneficial with approaches like somatic therapy or trauma informed psychotherapy.

Understand that from an alchemical/spiritual perspective, 'Perfection' means completion—making something whole—rather than being flawless. In the process of coping with perfectionism, it’s important to recognize the different types of perfectionism: self-motivated versus socially driven perfectionism. Examine the costs associated with maladaptive perfectionistic drives and behaviors. Explore the underlying feelings that drive these tendencies, as well as those we may be trying to escape. Manage the overthinking that often accompanies socially driven, maladaptive perfectionism through cognitive inquiry and mindfulness practices. Additionally, engage in somatic therapy techniques, focusing on somatic awareness to down-regulate the nervous system’s hyper-activation, which is vital in trauma informed psychotherapy.